Money, what is money and what does it mean to me? I am 32 and in the last 6 years have I gone through earning a lot of money to earning no money. I can say, that I was very blesses with the opportunity of seeing both worlds. I get the feeling that having a lot of money, or earning a lot of money is something that is regarded unethical and wrong. But I am done with that. Honestly I am getting to a point where I can say that I have tried living with little money and I am sick of it. Not that I can’t, not that I am not happy, I don’t think there was ever a time in my life I was as happy as I am now. But there is something different that I came to realize.
Not earning a lot of money means that I am toxic, that I am unsuccessful in what I try to do, that I am possibly even scared of earning a lot of money.
It is just like with love. I needed to overcome the fear of loving someone unconditionally, knowing that this person could leave me again one day, or die or what ever. I needed to prepare myself for the miracle of love. And you know what, I am more in love than I have ever been. This relationship is so perfect, that all my imperfections surface. I can clearly see what my fears and doubts are, and one seems to be the fear of success and having a life where I need to think about all the too muchs than the too littles.
Talking about not having money, no being able to afford this and that, seems to be totally fine – as everyone does it. I wish I could buy a bigger car, a nicer house, go on holiday, etc. But talking about having enough, or even having too much is something that people don’t want to hear. Funny, as talking about all the things you don’t have and how unfortunate you are, actually tells the world that there is something wrong with you. You are apparently not able to have as much as you would like to have.
Funny now that I think about it. We don’t talk as freely and openly about how bad our love life is as we do about our financial situation. How come? You are equally as responsible about your love life as you are about your financial situation. Not being able to be successful and following your dreams and passions and live of that, tells the world that something is wrong with you. Just like there is in your love life if it is not what you want it to be. So when you go and tell the world, you have not enough money, you basically tell the world, that something is wrong with you, because you are not able to look after yourself. It is you who has a problem, not your boss, not your neighbor, but it is you!!! No one else is to blame for it. You attract this into your life.
So I have bought into the system of failure, of being fine with having little, which I truly am, but I realized, that this also means, that I am not willing to overcome certain issues which I have, which keep me from being successful. I am totally one of these people that started complaining about not having enough, not realizing that by doing that, was I showing the world how many issues I have.
Just like with love, I needed to prepare myself for love. I needed to clean up my own mess, before I could draw the most amazing person into my life. I needed to be happy with who I am. I needed to first learn to totally be happy with my life. I needed to respect and love myself in order to attract love and respect. And that is the same with success.
Thinking that I might not ever get on the success side of life again, does scare me. I honestly have to say, it scares me. I want to believe that it is in my hands to be successful and get another chance to worry about too much rather than too little. But just like with finding my soul mate, do I know that if I let God / the Universe become part of my success will it be so much more rewarding, and healing, not just for myself but to many others. I can only do my best to prepare myself for success, just like I did with love. I was lucky enough to be gifted my soul mate. I did not know that love could be all that.
I am not sure whether I will ever be successful and able to give back to the world on all levels I would like to. However, I am very grateful that I had the chance before to earn all the money I did, because it gave me the freedom of growing into the person I am now – I needed the time. And I hope that I will get a chance to put my heart and soul into something that will be huge and very successful.